Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
