I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
