Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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