I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
