weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
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