Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
