break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
this boner is exhausting
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
