well you can't waste a boner
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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