I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Found your dick twin last night
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
