I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
