ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
