I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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