Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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