nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
