i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
