While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
