I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
