Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
wow bdsm is so cute
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize