he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
