i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
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road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
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They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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