so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize