her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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