she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
