the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You can't special order awesome
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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