Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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