so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
my liver is dry heaving
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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