There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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