i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
