does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
