plz talk dirty to me
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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