I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
