My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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