Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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