when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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