Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
