every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Randomize
