im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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