I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
