fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
