my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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