He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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