we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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