Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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