Me. At least after what I've been through.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
