That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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