Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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