girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
