Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
