I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
