u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
