I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize