evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i will never coherently bang her
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me