She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
