I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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