sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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