Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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