Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
