i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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