i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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