physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
