So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
