Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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